When Your Child Has an Eating Disorder
When you find out that your child is struggling with an eating disorder, you may feel as if your world has turned upside down. It can be challenging to determine how to address such a serious condition while simultaneously trying to learn as much as you can about the disorder. The following are some suggestions for getting started:
-First and foremost, consult with professionals about which level of care is appropriate for your child and surround your child and your family with support. An outpatient team can look like a medical doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, family therapist, and dietitian to address symptoms in a multi-dimensional approach. Higher levels of care may be necessary to stabilize your child’s symptoms, so ask your eating disorder professionals about clinical and medical necessity. It is important to create a team who specializes in eating disorders so that your child has the support needed in your unique situation.
-Consider your own personal support during this process. Whether you participate in your own therapy, support group, or inner circle, you need support, too. As you help your child through this process, it is likely that you will experience your own range of emotions and feel uncertain at times as to what the next best step is for your family. This is a great time to not only get that support for yourself but model to your child that it is okay to ask for help.
-Don’t attempt to rationalize with the eating disorder mindset. For example, you may hear your child state that they can’t eat a previously loved food due to fear that it will make him or her fat. While your first response might be
“You used to have this all the time! It’s fine! I promise it
won’t make you fat!”
Please remember that in doing so, you may be creating more of a barrier with your child (the eating disorder mind can be rigid and fear-based rather than logical) in addition to reinforcing the stigmatized belief that fat is “bad” and to be avoided at all costs (more of the evidenced-based framework of Health at Every Size in a future blog).
-Remember, you will mess up. You will say something that you regret or that your child states is triggering. You are figuring this out and aren’t expected to have all the answers. I often reflect to parents that research shows that we build our closest relationships not by being perfect, but by owning our mistakes and trying again. Give yourself permission to ask questions and to admit your mistakes.
Please remember that this blog is not a substitute for therapy. If your child is struggling with eating or body image concerns, I invite you to schedule a 15 minute consultation to see if I would be a good fit for your family. You are not in this alone.