Holiday Stress
The holidays are hard. There can be so many exciting things going on and yet, for many, the holidays can bring feelings of sadness, worry, or despair about personal experiences or the world at large.
In last year’s holiday blog, I focused on getting through the holidays when struggling with an eating disorder and/or body image. This year, I’d like to focus on those struggling with depression, anxiety, or relationships.
If you find yourself somewhere in these categories, first know that you’re not alone. You may want to consider joining a support group or finding a therapist, as the following tips are not intended as a substitute for therapy.
Try to maintain your routine. Maintaining a routine during the holidays can be hard, if not impossible. However, trying to stick to it as realistically as possible may aid in a sense of balance or groundedness.
Tend to your ABC PLEASE skills. In DBT, the acronym ABC PLEASE helps us remember how to care for ourselves in a way that reduces our vulnerabilities to emotional distress. It is as follows:
Accumulate positive emotions. Do FUN things that you enjoy.
Build mastery. Do things that help you feel confident and competent.
Cope ahead. Rehearse your plan for an event or situation ahead of time so that you can experience it with as little distress as possible. Have a holiday party that you are dreading because of social interaction? Have a dress rehearsal in your mind regarding what you will do or say.
Physical ILlness. Treat physical illness and take your meds as prescribed.
Eat in a balanced manner.
Avoid mood-altering substances. This includes being mindful of how much caffeine you’re consuming, as it can increase feelings of anxiety.
Sleep. Get enough rest!
Exercise. Move your body in an enjoyable way.
Take a look at your boundaries. Being around so many family and friends around the holidays is bound to push some boundaries. That’s ok. Take a look at your boundaries and consider what you need to adjust and enforce. Remember that requests are not the same as boundaries. For example, you can request that your friend doesn’t show up drunk to your holiday party, but this is not a boundary. A boundary would sound like “If you choose to come to my party wasted, I will need to call you an Uber to take you home.” People may not always understand or agree with our boundaries, but you are allowed to decide what YOU are comfortable with.
Ask for what you need. Consider a trusted person to talk to about your feelings or concerns and discuss what you may find helpful.
I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season. Consider other tips or skills to implement to make your holidays more feasible. May you practice self-compassion during this time, and maybe snag yourself some of those incredible-looking holiday cookies!